A lot has happened on my surrogacy journey since my last blog update and it’s about time we play catch up.
Back in October we transferred the last of our embryos to our surrogate Ashley. It was an emotional process - we were filled with cautious optimism, knowing that if it didn’t work out we would be looking at a mentally, physically, and financially draining process before we could even attempt another transfer.
Despite being very public about our surrogacy and IVF story, we decided to wait until we knew the results of the transfer to share an update. The uncertainty was tough enough - adding thousands of eyes watching it realtime felt like pressure we could all live without. So we moved ahead and held our breaths.
At 10dpt (days post transfer), Ashley went for a beta hCG blood test - the test that would tell us if there was a pregnancy detected. We got the results through an online portal while on a video call together - not pregnant.
It was a tough moment. We all did our best to stay strong and supportive for each other (surrogacy is a team sport on both good days and bad), but there were tears. Ashley put it well when we reflected on it later, saying that her overwhelming feeling was shock. We all knew it was a real possibility to have a negative test, but it still felt strange and disappointing to get that negative.
In some ways, having this outcome after a successful journey together was both harder and easier. On one hand, we all know the magic that happens when it all works out. That gives us hope. Plus my daughter, now a toddler, has no idea what has just happened. The fact that she wanted snuggles and playtime directly after we got the news and wasn’t looking at me with sad eyes provided normalcy that I desperately needed. On the other hand, holding her knowing what the embryo that didn’t make it could have become was incredibly tough.
In IVF and surrogacy, you often hear that there is a lot of ‘hurry up and wait’. This was particularly true of what happened next. Less than one day after we received the results of our transfer, I got day 1 of my menstrual cycle. Because of some planned travel in November and holiday clinic closures in December, we needed to decide quickly if we would jump right into IVF or wait until January. We decided to start right away.
I knew going in that I was in for quite the ride. In my first IVF cycle I was diagnosed with OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) - a painful complication that affects less than 5% of women going through an egg retrieval. People with PCOS and a high number of follicles are typically at higher risk, and I once again fit that category. As expected, my body reacted the same way to the fertility medication and I once again got OHSS.
Without dwelling too much on that (it was extremely painful and I had to stick to a strict medication protocol and high protein, high sodium diet for about 10 days to clear it up), let’s talk about the cycle itself.
My doctor, Dr. Glass at Create Fertility in Toronto, lovingly called me an ‘ova-achiever’ for my body’s ability to produce a high quantity of follicles, ultimately resulting in 36 eggs on retrieval day. If you’re unfamiliar with typical egg retrieval numbers, take my word on this - that’s a lot!
That said, it’s so important to put numbers into context. From follicle number to final embryo count, you typically see a major drop off. In our previous cycle we retrieved 40 eggs and ended up with 3 transferable embryos. Here’s our numbers (so far) from this cycle:
Beginning of cycle: 47 follicles
Egg retrieval: 36 eggs retrieved
Day 1: 26 eggs mature, 21 fertilized
Day 6/7: 9 embryos biopsied and sent for testing
So does that mean we now have 9 chances at a baby? Not quite. We’ve opted to PGT test on our embryos, a process where a small biopsy of each embryo is taken to test both the chromosomes and look for a hereditary condition I carry and could pass down. While this isn’t a necessary step, it dramatically reduces the risk of failed transfers, miscarriage, and helps us select the embryos with the best chance to transfer first. It’s a decision that feels right for our family, and gives us more information going into our next transfer.
I don’t want to begin speculation on how many of our embryos will come back ‘euploid’ (normal), but last time of our 11 embryos quickly became 3. How many embryos end up normal can be affected by a number of factors like egg/sperm quality, age, and even just luck. The test results can take anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks to come back, so we are in the ‘wait’ stage of ‘hurry up and wait’.
What’s next?
Once we get the PGT test results back, we’ll regroup with our clinic and decide when to move forward with our next transfer. We anticipate that will happen in early 2025, but we will probably hold back on sharing specifics until we transfer and know the result.
So there you have it - a big update on what the past two months have looked like! It hasn’t been easy, but ultimately I am so grateful. To have the opportunity to try for a second child is something I don’t take for granted.
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