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Surrogacy update: 20 weeks!

Updated: May 10

I’m still in partial disbelief typing this, but we’re halfway to full term! Our surrogate Ashley is feeling amazing and baby has been moving around and kicking regularly. While we can’t feel those movements on the outside yet, Ashley has been doing a great job of communicating what she’s feeling to help us feel connected to the pregnancy on a day-to-day basis. We’ve been so fortunate with this relationship – not only is she doing us this enormous kindness in growing our baby, but she and her family are just the most amazing people and it’s such a privilege to have become their friends.


I’ve been busy following the baby’s growth on apps like the Pregnancy+, which now tell me that Baby Colt is around the size of a mango. Zane loves the DaddyUp app which told him this week that Baby Colt is the size of a Bald Eagle’s talon! Ashley is officially rocking the cutest little bump to match! There is going to be some rapid growth over the next few months, not only in size but also in development, which is so exciting. We had our anatomy scan last week and baby has the sweetest little features that are now beginning to take shape. Look at that little nose!


What’s next?


There is SO much to do to prepare for Baby Colt’s arrival, and here’s how it’s going so far:


Preparing the nursery


Our nursery room is a total disaster right now. Like many people who have experienced infertility, we used this room as a bit of a storage room and shut the door for a long time. Now that we actually have to prepare it for baby, we have to clear out a lot of junk. The good news? I have a theme picked (under the sea!) and have begun to look at some furniture that I think will look amazing.


Shopping for baby items


We decided not to begin shopping for baby until 22 weeks, but that hasn’t stopped family and friends from gifting us some items. So far we’ve received the Stokke Tripp Trap highchair, the UPPAbaby Vista V2 stroller, a pre-loved bassinet from our local Buy Nothing Facebook group (the generosity of other new moms in our community is amazing!), a few children’s books, Play Dough ,and a Sophie the Giraffe from our friend and fellow mom-to-be by surrogacy Marissa.


Signing up for baby classes


Zane and I have a lot to learn, and one of the best ways to do that is by accessing classes through reputable local organizations. We still have quite a bit of research to do on this, but learning the basics of baby safety is #1 on our list for this.


What’s been happening in our personal lives?


We have continued to take meetings with policy makers, politicians, and journalists to discuss parental leave equity for parents by surrogacy in Canada. This remains a high priority for us because of the number of people just like us that it affects.


On a social note, we’ve been fortunate enough to see some of our Ontario-based surrogacy community friends lately which is really nice. Every time I get together with other Intended Moms, it reminds me that a) I’m not alone in my experience and b) there is so much we can accomplish when we come together to bring awareness and educate others about surrogacy!


I can’t believe how far we’ve come and I can’t wait to give another update soon.

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