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Surrogacy update: 9 weeks

Updated: May 10

Woman holding sonogram. Two women wearing medical gowns and masks
This ultrasound image is from our 8 week scan, and the image of Ashley and I is from transfer day.

This past weekend we officially crossed the nine weeks threshold in Ashley’s pregnancy and we are so excited! The end of the first trimester is so close, and Ashley only has a few more weeks of shots before ‘graduating’ from the fertility clinic. People are constantly asking us how she is feeling, so I’ve actually asked her to share in her own voice – it’s easier to hear her words than to have me try to describe her experience.


Ashley: I feel great! Small spells of nausea here and there but nothing too crazy. No food aversions/cravings, although nothing I eat is satisfying which is really disappointing. I thought giving up coffee would be hard but similar to my other pregnancies I have no desire for it in the first trimester so I really only have a few sips before I’m over it.


Ashley is amazing at communicating her experience with us, which I am so grateful for. Unlike many of the couples who turn to surrogacy after experiencing a pregnancy (secondary infertility, loss, pregnancy or delivery complications), I have no lived experience as a pregnant person and so being kept in the loop on all of the little things helps me feel connected.


What happens at the end of the first trimester?


Graduation day! Graduating from the fertility clinic is a big deal – it marks a new milestone in our journey where our fertility doctor can confidently hand Ashley over to her OB/GYN. While we’ll miss the warmth and encouragement of Dr. Glass, we are excited to meet Ashley’s next care provider and to move onto new phases of this journey.


Our fertility clinic is in downtown Toronto, about a 40 minute drive from our house and several hours from Ashley, but we’ll be flipping the script in the next phase. Ashley’s care will be much closer to home for her, and Zane and I will be driving to London for the second trimester, third trimester, and birth. We’ve heard wonderful things about the hospital she’s planning on delivering at, and know several other surrogates who have delivered there. While surrogacy adds an additional layer of potential complications to labour and delivery, we are hopeful that the hospital and its staff are prepared to handle our experience with compassion and understanding.


We still have a long way to go between now and meeting the baby, but we are so excited about what each new day brings!

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