What intended parents and surrogates look for in a potential match can vary widely. Some people focus on proximity to each other, others may have specific preferences around their compensation amount/reimbursement cap (refer to the laws of your jurisdiction), and some just want somebody they can call a friend before, during, and after a journey. Which factors draw IPs to surrogates and vice versa will all be a little different, but all successful matches do need these three qualities to to take them the distance.
Good communication
Communication is key in all relationships, but in surrogacy it is especially important. Surrogacy journeys can be long and complex, with unexpected hurdles popping up that you might not have contemplated when you started. Having clear lines of communication and a commitment to talking through the good and bad helps everyone stay on the same page and feel included.
Knowing your own preferred method of communication is key going into a surrogacy journey. Do you prefer texting or picking up the phone when you have news to share? Are you the type of person who needs non-verbal cues to understand tone and therefore does better with in-person conversation and FaceTime calls? Making sure that you, your partner, and your surrogate are aligned on this will help the journey run smoothly.
Mutual respect
Intended parents and surrogates can come to surrogacy with very different outlooks and life experiences. It's important that despite this, everyone involved in a match works hard to see things from the other's perspective and be respectful of boundaries, triggers, and more.
Some great ways you can show respect to your intended parent or surrogate are:
Ask them questions and truly listen to what they are telling you
Be honest with your feelings throughout the process (don't bottle things up and then explode!)
Display small acts of kindness that have nothing to do with your shared surrogacy journey
Say thank you! This is a transformative and collaborative experience for everyone, so show your gratitude. A verbal acknowledgement of each other can go a long way.
Trust
Surrogacy is a trust exercise. Intended parents must trust that their surrogate is doing everything in their power to safely and lovingly care for their baby until they can be reunited at birth. Surrogates must trust that intended parents will honour their commitments under both the contract and beyond, ensuring that they are safe and cared for while they put their body through the considerable stress of pregnancy and childbirth.
Trust doesn't happen overnight, but you should feel from the beginning that your potential IP or surrogate is a trustworthy person. Remember - building trust starts with you. Show your surrogacy partner that you are a person of integrity and they will do the same in return.
Comentários